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Science says stolen french fries taste better.
The only thing better than fresh hot french fries might be… STOLEN french fries, according to science.
Research conducted by Valentin Skryabin show that “covertly obtained” fries yielded increased overall taste enjoyment, along with a shift in “perceived saltiness, crispiness, and taste intensity” even though the stolen fries were being compared to identical french fries that were “obtained legitimately.” Results of the research were published in the journal Food Quality and Preference in its September, 2026 volume.
In other words, stolen french fries taste better.
Let’s talk about the study. Then we’ll get to some legal advice.
Methods and Context of French Fry Acquisition
The research suggests that a sense of guilt may contribute substantially to the level of enjoyment experienced by the eater.
For the study, french fries were prepared and cooked using identical methods. The variable element addressed in the study was the context of acquisition. Methods were ranked according to risk level:
- legitimate “own portion” fries (eaten from one’s own plate or serving);
- gifted fries (willingly given by the original owner);
- low-risk covert acquisition (taken from another person’s plate without permission); and
- high-risk covert acquisition (taken while the other person’s plate was being guarded or when the participant was being closely watched).
Study participants were then interviewed about their level of enjoyment from eating the french fries, and also about their emotions relating to the experience of obtaining the fries (guilt, excitement, etc.).
Results showed a nearly 40% increase in overall pleasantness ratings for fries obtained through high-risk covert taking when compared with “own portion” fries obtained legitimately. Researchers also found a positive association between guilt and enjoyment.
A Lawyer’s Perspective on Stolen French Fries
Criminal Consequences of French Fry Theft in Utah
The level of offense for most theft cases is based on the value of the item taken. (See, Utah Code 76-6-401 et seq.) Values under $500 default to the class B misdemeanor level. French fries would ordinarily fall into this category.
However, exceptions to the general value rules apply if the property is taken directly from the presence of a person (theft from a person), or if it is taken by means of force or a threatened use of force (robbery).
Both theft from a person and robbery charges start at the second-degree felony level, regardless of the value of the property involved. Aggravated robbery (usually involving a weapon) is a first-degree felony.
Defenses to a Theft Charge
In addition to traditional defenses involving mistaken identity and alibi, Utah theft law establishes what is sometimes called the “honest belief” defense. Utah Code 76-4-402.
The statute provides that a person who takes property, “honestly believing that the owner, if present, would have consented” is not guilty of the crime of theft.
For example, if your dining partner steps away from the table for a minute and you honestly believe that they would be OK with you taking a couple of fries, then you have a good defense to the charge – even if your partner turns out to be upset that you took their fries.
On the other hand, taking fries from folks dining at a different table is going to make the case more difficult to present persuasively to a jury.
Legal Recommendations re. French Fry Theft
While research suggests that there is a heightened sense of enjoyment when eating covertly-obtained french fries, the potential legal consequences could be serious.
As a matter of ethics and professional responsibility, attorneys should not encourage clients to engage in criminal conduct. Thus, we have to advise against stealing other people’s french fries.
Our best advice for optimizing your french fry experience? Stick with “legitimate” fries from your own plate, and be generous with the fry sauce. Utah is famous for fry sauce.
But, if you do get caught stealing fries, remember the 5th Amendment (your right to remain silent), and get a good lawyer (we’re here to help).